Peruvian official: ‘You!’ *pauses to look me in the eye* ‘Go over there!’ 

Me: *Gingerly walk over to 3 other Peruvian officials by a table* 

Peruvian official 1: ‘Passporte!’ 

Me: *Tries a bit of British charm and smile as I hand over pasport* 

Peruvian official 2: *in broken english* ‘Why are you here!?’ 

I can now see my bag about 8m away and even from there I can tell it’s been opened. 

Me: ‘I’m here as a tourist, I plan to walk up Machu Picchu’

Peruvian official 1: *who had been inspecting the stamps in my passport* ‘You’re Irish yes!?’

Me: ‘No I’m English’ 

Peruvian official 1: *points over to Shahd (who by the way is having a nice friendly conversation with her official)* ‘She’s Irish yes!?’ 

Me: ‘No she’s English’

Peruvian official 1: ‘she’s your girlfriend?’

Me: ‘no she’s a friend’ 

Peruvian official 1: ‘and she’s from Ireland!?’

Me: ‘no she’s from England’ *I found this slightly amusing because Shahd most certainly doesn’t look Irish. South American maybe. Irish, no.*

Peruvian official 3: *who had just finished searching through my day bag snaps on a pair of rubber gloves*

Me: Any slight smirk on my face about the Irish obsession has now been wiped off my face.

Peruvian offical 1: ‘What is your job?’

Me: ‘IT’ *then I act out typing on a keyboard as I see the confused look on his face*

Surprisingly, they send me on my merry way only to call me back yet again. Ask me a couple more questions, triple check that I’m not Irish. Then once again I’m on my merry way and feeling very relieved. 

Not the easiest entry into a country. Thank god I’m not an American. Any country they go into their life is made a misery.